It has been difficult for me to find friends. This is something that makes me anxious. Many people cannot believe this, but when I was in school, I walked around pretty much alone. I was desperate to meet new people, make friends, and have others take an interest in me. But it never happened. I was nice. I was a nice guy. I was prepared but couldn't make people like me. It was my fault. My entire energy went into convincing other children that I was cool. When I realized that I was not getting anyone to care about me, I changed my behavior. To make friends, I had to be interested in other people. This helped me to make friends much faster. Here are 7 ways to quickly make friends in high school that have been proven to work. Also, below is a FREE poster which includes 4 more ways.
Smile at the world and it will all smile with you
Smiling is a very simple act, but can be the beginning of many friendships. You may find it difficult to smile if you do not have many friends. Smiling can help you to feel more comfortable.
It's not a good idea to wear a big grin all day long, as people might think that you're weird. It's about putting out positive energy and being more cheerful. When you walk past people, smile and laugh. You'll have more success making friends if you allow people to see through your exterior.
Psychologists today state that having a "nice countenance" on your face is the fastest way of making a new friend.
The names you use matter
I have a great memory for names. My brain has a story which helps me recall someone's memory. My high-school friend couldn't recall names. He was an intelligent guy who could recall the specifics of all of the faces he had hung out with. He remembered that time we went shopping together, chatted with the girls and quoted movies for paragraphs – but he couldn't recall anyone's name.
He lost a number of friends through the years for calling people "bro", 'you' or ted, which is fine except if you are named Jonny. Names are important because they form a part of someone's identity.
Listen to other people
Everyone wants to hear themselves. You may think that showing off your coolness is the best way to gain friends. It involves telling others about yourself, right? No, it doesn't. Being part of the group is essential, and listening to other people's opinions is an important part. As you mature, this all becomes easier. As a child, you could walk into a group and begin talking. Everyone would listen. You don't possess that same power anymore. You will lose your peers if you tell them about how amazing you are.
Have you ever met a person who is always talking about themself? Isn't that annoying? Don't do that! You can learn a lot about someone by asking questions. Some typical questions may be:
- What have you done this weekend?
- Does anyone in your family play sports?
- What video games do you enjoy?
It takes pressure off of you to speak and puts it on the other party. You will be able to learn quickly what the other person is interested in.
Take the information you heard and share it with others
Listening and absorbing everything you hear is not enough to win your friends. Sometimes you will have to join in on conversations. Everyone knows someone who rarely speaks. You may know someone from your family or school, or you might even be a part of your local community. All day they might listen but never participate. It can be difficult to get this person involved in a conversation and understand their thoughts. You don't wish to be that person.
Listening to music is a wonderful experience
You can see what other people are interested in (which is great for making friends), but others want to find out if they share your interests. After you've listened to the conversation and understood what is being said, you can join in. But remember, nobody likes someone who shows off.
Feel important to others
We all like to feel important. This is something that we all experience. It is perfectly normal to feel that way. You will feel ten-feet taller when someone is paying attention to you. This feeling must be transferred to others. You will feel better if you can make others feel the same way.
Tell people what you admire about them. You can compliment their sense of humor, their sports skills or music taste. You can make other people feel good by doing two things.
- You can build friendships on a solid foundation
- You can make others feel more important by spending time with them.
Give your time to others. Give them your time. It was a time when I had just started a sports team that my couch noticed I didn't have many friends. He told to 'hang out more'. I was often the guy who would leave immediately after a sport, while many others (who were also bored) would simply hang around. It became almost automatic for students to convert each other.
Concentrate on a select few
I used think that if I was so popular I wouldn't have time to do much other than say "hi". Think about it for a few moments. What's the point? Spending quality time with others is the key to making friends.
You'll be happier at school if you have a small group of quality friends rather than a large circle of friendly connections. What you enjoy reflects in your friends. You can grow and experience great things together. Close friends are important in life. A few close friends are worth a thousand Facebook connections.
Be authentic
To be yourself, you must know who you really are. You might like photography, soccer and tech reviews. Do not pretend to be someone you aren't because it will make you feel better. You may miss out on friendships with others who share similar interests.
It's not necessary to follow everything your friends do. My friend loves rugby, for example. When I meet them, i ask about his training and he will spend 5 minutes talking about it. I talk about youthwork for 5 mins after he asks. The topic of the conversation is not of interest to either of us, but because we both like each other and care about the person in question we want them to know that we are interested. Friendship is about that.
I hope that this is helpful. This article was based on the best book I have ever read.
Another note: People who have trouble making friends are often bullied. This article is a great resource for anyone who needs advice or support regarding Australia's number one problem: bullying.
The book mentioned above. Warren Buffett is among the wealthiest men on the planet today. He earned his wealth by investing. In an old interview, he answered that he had taken a course called "How to win Friends and Influence people" which was his best investment. Making friends is important, not just for our emotions but also in the workplace and school. As with anything, some people have a natural ability to do it and others will need to put in more effort. .
Finding friends is hard. While we are in school, it may seem that everyone is on the same page. But as you age, you will hear from many people how lonely they were at school. You are not alone. Many people want to make friends. It will be easier to find friends if your focus is on being a silly friend and not just trying.
What else do you consider important? Please let me know. Please let me now if I helped you. P.S. I appreciate your comments. I'll answer these questions in a short video. Here's my favorite YouTube video on making friends. Enjoy!
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